if we had an exchange of heart

if we had an exchange of heart..then you'd know why I fell apart.

sometimes, we wonder why we need to feel pain..why we need to feel all these hurts..and sometimes, we wonder, why it happened to us..

facing reality is the hardest thing to do. it is the hardest thing ever created when we are almost eaten by hurts. it seems like there is no easy way of escaping reality and we wish of not waking up anymore. and what hurts most is when people causing the pain are nearest to our hearts, and all the more we wish to escape from it..

but , as we become mature, we realized that we cannot escape pain..and the more we find ways to escape from it, the more it becomes painful..the more we suffer..

photo from yahoo.com

just like the lyrics of the song above, and how i suffered and wish we had an exchange of heart.. 
if we had an exchange of heart, you might know why i fell apart..
if we had an exchange of heart, you might know my reasons..you might know what i have been through..

there are so many IFs:

if you only knew how painful it is for me not to be with you in your darkest hour, if you only knew how i feel so defeated whenever you hurt yourself, if you only knew what i have been through when i decided to let you go..if you only knew how much it hurts when you keep on ignoring His answer to your question..

Reality?
These IFs will remain IFs..exchange of heart will never happen to us..i will not know what you felt and you will not know what i felt..

Pain is really something that we never wish to feel.. But pain has no exemption. We are not exempted and i guess the only way for us to heal is to forgive..

God forgives us, and I am so serious begging to Him to teach me to forgive.. And im still praying that you understand me better now..

Im always in puzzle with this line " NO PAIN NO GAIN"..
i guess it's true, we are still in pain but in God's time, we will both celebrating its gain!

by the way, if we had an exchange of heart, you will also know how much i love you..